My Mom has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and has been in the hospital. She is scheduled to have placement of a port tomorrow and chemotherapy to start Wed. Her husband who has COPD and emphysema, doesn't seem to understand the severity of the diagnosis. I'm truly worried. My mom has cared for him to the point he can't or won't do ANYTHING for himself and he doesn't seem to understand that she isn't coming home to cook and care for him. This has got to me total denial and I realize it is the first stage of grieving but she plans to "live until she dies." Those were her words. What should I do about him? He can barely walk across the room and that's with oxygen. Should I STRONGLY suggest he go see the oncologist with us so he can ask questions and she can tell him the severity? I don't think he actually believes my mom or me! And I don't want him pushing or guilting her into trying to get up and do for him. Help!!!

Has anyone else ever experienced anything similar?  If so please share.