My Trial Failed

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Intro by: Mary Brolley, Staff Writer

Adelea Ibsen was just 30 when diagnosed with late-stage breast cancer. At the time of diagnosis, she was living in Germany with her husband and two young daughters. Because of her illness, the family immediately moved back to Texas so she could be treated at MD Anderson.

Ibsen now commutes from her Austin home weekly to participate in a Phase I clinical trial under the direction of Richard Theriault, D.O., professor in the Department of Breast Medical Oncology.

Today's post continues an occasional series on her experiences with cancer and treatment.

Post by: Adelea Ibsen

Adelea_kidsroom.jpgHere come the tears again.

Did I mention I haven't worn contacts in three months due to the spontaneous crying? It dries them out and I have to peel them off my eyeballs.

This is not my first time around the "trial block" on my tricycle. I've done all kinds of trials and mainstream therapies.

I even did the trials where everyone in the study has had some rate of response. Nope, not me.

It sucks, it sucks, it sucks.

I would like a break. God, did you hear me? A break.

There is nothing like the moment when I look into the doctors' eyes and tell them, "I need to be here. No, really. I know we all need to be here, but I HAVE to be here. For my girls."

For my sweet, funny, sassy, smart, creative, snuggle-cuddle girls.

My heart, my soul, the true loves of my life. The thing that drives me like a madwoman.

The day after "The News," I sat at the computer and looked at pictures of them when they were born and growing up. Thinking about how it would be for them, without me. It was a way to cry with them without them being here.

So we start again with a new trial.

This time, we will attempt again the emotional tightrope of having immense hope but no expectations.

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Adelea Ibsen was just 30 when diagnosed with late-stage breast cancer. At the time of diagnosis, she was living in East Germany with her husband and two young daughters. Because of her illness, the family immediately moved back to Texas so she could be... Read More


i love you sweet friend.

You sound like an amazing young lady. I am so sorry that I never got to know you.. I did know your dad very well and loved him and Mom & Pop Fussell dearly.. You hang in there.. God is not finished with you yet..I will continue to pray that you be healed and whole in Jesus name..

6 People commented on this post on

E. Dice What a touching story. Dr. Theriault is such a good and kind person. She's in great hands with him.
6/3/10 at 2:53pm

A. Foster I love you sweet friend.
6/3/10 at 2:55pm

F. Stewart Believe me I live what you are saying. This is all for my 7 year old. He needs me. When he was an infant, it was just him and me, while my husband was at work. When I went through chemo the first time, her was a toddler(literally) taking care of me, while my husband was working. Junior and I are a part of each other. Everyday I beg GOD to heal us
6/3/10 at 3:22pm

E. Dice I was older when diagnosed with advanced B.C. but my only grand-daughter was just 9 and I had to be strong for her, even when I felt like laying down and never getting up. I've been in remission for nearly 5 years. It can and does happen, even with stage 3b.
6/3/10 at 3:32pm

S. Willheit Frederickson Adelea, I will keep praying for you, please know others care, and prayers are a powerful thing...
6/3/10 at 3:38pm

S. Eliaz-Bostelmann
I read your story and I will keep you in my prayer's. I was diagnosed with stage4 Her-2 breast cancer in2006, I have one child and had him late in life at age 40, my son was born with down syndrome so when i found out 18months after giving birth to a 2lb. baby boy I told my Dr.'s I can't die I have to be here for my baby who needs me. I pray to ... See MoreGod everyday to please keep me here with my son. I feel that God wouldn't have given me such a special child if he was going to take me away from him. I was put on one trial and right now I am receving Herceptin and Zomata every 3 weeks. You are in a good hospital and I will pray that the Dr.'s will find a trial for you to.
6/7/2010 at 5:11pm

My heart aches for you and all that you must be feeling. You are in my thoughts and prayers every day...asking God to give you - and your family - a break.

You are doing all the right things. You are fighting like crazy and having hope...Jim and I are sending positive, healing thoughts to you and we send hope as well. We care deeply for you, Nella, Pia, Kent and your Mom and wish you a positive outcome in this trial.
Hugs to you!

You are so loved and we're not letting you go anywhere. You bring too much light and goodness into the world.

My daughter has late stage cancer, and I found this remarkable young woman's story, and had so hoped that she had managed to recover and live...I did an obit search, and found she passed away in Sept. of 2010. This has so saddened me, for her family and for my daughter....may she rest in peace, and her daughters know how much she loved them!

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