A Prayer On Potent Proton

God of wonders, God of intricate matters,

             I thank Thee for the presence of protons

- its possibilities for curing cancers, its promises for adding life to someone¡¯s years.

I thank Thee for brilliant minds and  assiduous character for harnessing its power.

I thank Thee for the corporate desire

             to transform a nuclear item into a communal good,

             and for Mother Earth for clutching a unique vision.

I thank Thee for the circular structure of the cyclotron and the gantry –

both reflecting the timeless life-nurturing nature of arcs as familiar as

the protruding belly of pregnant women, or the house of the human brain, or the bodies of dolphins.

May every hurting life be nourished in its inner circle.

May every necessity be welcomed justly into its healing curve. AMEN.  

______________________________

Inspired by NY Times report on proton therapy, Dec. 26, 2007

On The Sentinel

                ¡°Tell me how I will die.¡±

           A dauntless request from a cancer patient to his oncologist! It sounds as stout-hearted as a man about to plunge from a 499-meter high cliff yet eager to know if the dive to the blue water below is safe enough for him to survive. Plain 6 words unvarnished as Van Gogh's self-portraits yet as tangled as Picasso's Guernica. What does this patient desire for?

Tell me – could the patient be saying: talk to me, share to me what you know and feel and sense or experience about dying?

How – could he be saying: what will preoccupy my system? Or, is it gonna be an emotional battleground or a serene transition?

I – could the patient be saying: will it be an earth-shaking decentering with the I becoming a small letter until it fades away?

Will – an ambiguous combination of willingness and anticipation: how soon and do I really need to welcome it at this point?

Die – End of question.

        With moving honesty, the writer-oncologist responded on familiar ground by injecting the concept of a ¡°sentinel bleed¡± which signals the systemic bloody rupture that could end it all. This ¡°sentinel bleed¡± – this he explained is the cue to a catastrophe. Then there was disengagement from the patient. Dr. Campbell could only curse himself at the end of the conversation for not knowing what to do with the patient¡¯s peaceful silence. He seems to suggest he was the sentinel in trembling because the ground he was standing was somehow no longer familiar to him. Hmmm, this makes me reflect on what ground will I respond to such a fearless request.        

Pastoral Care/CPE in Alumni Directory


I received a notice of update from the MD Anderson Alumni Office. I was about to update my personal profile but then noticed that under the "medical specialty" dropdowns, there's no Pastoral Education/Clinical Pastoral Education category. I already sent them an email requesting for an inclusion of this area. I hope they will make this important change.